March 3, 2020
Being in the business we’re in, we get to meet a lot of givers.
Our cofounders are Adam Grant and Wayne Baker, the world’s leading experts on generosity and asking for help. At Givitas, we get to work every day with leaders who genuinely want to create generous, collaborative, kind teams. They want to create a safe space for people to ask for help.
These people tend to be givers themselves. As leaders, they have a lot of expertise and experience to offer, and they are at the greatest risk of giver burnout.
Adam Grant discussed the phenomenon of giver burnout with ABC's Dan Harris on an episode of 10% Happier. It led me to do a little more research into the subject.
First, let’s define being a giver. We don’t mean giving money necessarily (though giving can be financial). In the workplace, we tend to mean generously sharing your time, talent, expertise, resources, network, connections, advice, and more.
The conventional wisdom is that if you give too much (at work or in your personal life), you will burn out. You’ll get tired, and you won’t want to give at all.
It turns out that giver burnout happens only if you give in a way that is totally selfless or self-sacrificing. When you put everyone else in your life ahead of yourself without any regard for your own time and energy, that is a ticket straight to burnout.
In an article in Harvard Business Review on beating generosity burnout, Adam and Reb Rebele offer these definitions:
If you can find ways to give that are beneficial to you and to other people without being costly in terms of energy, you're actually happier and more successful.
In fact, givers who can solve this puzzle actually end up with more energy than matchers and takers because of the 'helper's high' or the 'warm glow of giving.'
Take our free quiz to find out what kind of giver you are.
Here are 10 research-based ways to avoid giver burnout:
If you are an excellent writer, don't agree to teach someone how to use Excel macros just because you know how to do it. That's something they can probably get from a lot of other people and doesn't play to your unique strengths.
According to Adam Grant and Reb Rebelle, "across industries the people who make the most sustainable contributions to organizations (those who offer the most direct support, take the most initiative, and make the best suggestions) protect their time so that they can work on their own goals too."
This can be a form of boundary setting, and can be energizing instead of depleting. If someone asks you to read their book but you don't have time to do it, you could offer to introduce them to someone who does. You're still helping by making the connection, but you're protecting your time.
If you get dozens of requests a week for a particular kind of help, consider setting up a Google hangout to offer the help to everyone at once. If you frequently get the same kinds of questions, you could create a FAQ document to share, or ask someone you help to pay it forward by willing to share what they learned from you.
One of the most draining kinds of helping is when what you thought was a one-time thing becomes a regular commitment. So be clear up front about the scope of your time and abilities.
When someone asks for help, can you get them close to their goal in 5 minutes or less by referring them to a person, article, or other resource that might be of use to them? (Givitas is a great way to embrace the five-minute favor!)
You'll feel more impact and greater satisfaction if you do five favors one day a week instead of one small favor every day.
Adam shares that his order of priority is family, then students, then colleagues, then everyone else. Having that internal hierarchy helps him know when to say yes and when to say no. Make your own priority list, and then consider it when someone asks for help.
As a giver, you may or may not have great 'taker' radar, but learn to spot the people who will drain you without paying it forward.
Symptoms can include increased stress, resentment, frustration, and more. Consider resentment especially carefully. Will you resent the person or the project if you say yes to a request for help? If so, consider saying no. The expectation of resentment is a good signal that you're getting burned out.
One thing Adam said in the podcast that really resonated, Every 'no' is a chance to say yes when it matters more.
Take our free quiz, “What Kind of Giver Are You at Work?” to see what kinds of help you currently offer and whether there might be other kinds of assistance that are easier, quicker, or less draining. Let us know how it goes!
