Video: Leaders Connect around Giving and Getting

Why don’t we ask for help?

Find out in this video recording of the exclusive Leaders Connect breakfast session featuring Wayne Baker and  Dr. Robert Pasick.

If you prefer to read about Wayne’s talk, check out the excerpt below from Dr. Robert Pasick’s blog at

Dr. Baker has discovered that even though people love to help each other; the hardest thing for people to do is to ask for the help that is needed.  In our discussion, Dr. Baker explored why people do not tend to ask for help until they are desperate.
Among the reasons cited were:

  1. We fear that others will say no and we will feel rejected
  2. For many, to ask for help is a sign of weakness
  3. Many successful people feel like frauds and are afraid that asking for help will reveal how inadequate they really are.

So what can you do if you are one of those people who have difficulty asking for what you need?  Here are a few ideas:

  1. Recognize that people actually like to help and that asking for help really makes other people feel better, not worse.
  2. Recognize that truly successful people are actually good at asking for help. They recognize that no great achievement can be done alone at asking for help will actually make them more productive.
  3. Recognizing that by asking for help, you are actually building team camaraderie and cohesive. You are reinforcing the idea that it takes a strong team to make a difference.
  4. Get in the habit of asking for help on the big things by asking for help first on the little things. For example think about how easy it is to ask Siri for directions, but how hard it is to ask a real person for directions.
  5. Recognize that asking for help make us more human. We like people who dare to show their vulnerability and ask for help on things that are difficult for them. Nobody likes someone who acts like they are totally self-sufficient.

Dr. Rob Pasick is a Psychologist and Executive Coach who founded Leaders Connect, the invitation-only networking event that brings together executive-level leaders from the public, private and non-profit sectors. You can reach Dr. Rob at

Do you find it difficult to ask for help?  Why?  Which suggestions will help you get the help you need?  Just drop your responses in the comments below.

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